Posts tagged ‘infertility’

Please Help!

I’m posting here a blog I did for my other blog where I talk about my struggles with infertility.  Please read and if you can and are willing, please contact your representatives in congress!!

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advocacyDay

Hey all…I just found out about this today, RESOLVE’s Advocacy Day.  A group is going to Washington to fight for infertility coverage!  Click here to go to the main page for Advocacy Day.  Below I’ve cut and pasted a ton of stuff from their website.  You can go and read it there, but I thought I’d highlight some of it so you know what this is, and what you can do!

RESOLVE Advocacy Day: Why Me? Why Now?

Today we are in a unique moment in US history where the future of healthcare reform is being discussed in the halls of Congress. Together we need to make sure that the leaders of this discussion hear firsthand what those touched by infertility need in our healthcare system. There’s never been a time in RESOLVE’s 35 year history where we need you more than we do today. Grab your spouse, partner, best-friend or mom and join us June 25 in Washington D.C. 

On June 25, RESOLVE’s family building advocates will be in Washington DC in an effort to make family building more affordable.

There are ways you can help, today.

1. FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO A FRIEND
Share this email with family and friends asking them to sign up to become an advocate and stay informed.

2. FACEBOOK
Change your status to: “Today I’m donating my status to RESOLVE’s Advocacy Day–leading the charge for greater access to affordable care for infertility patients.” (Don’t forget to become a Fan of RESOLVE)

3. BLOG
Let your readers know what is going on in Washington DC this week. More information here.

4. TWITTER
Tweet to all your followers: “June 25 is RESOLVE’s Advocacy Day, visit resolve.org for ways to get involved.”

5. DONATE
Make a generous tax-deductible online donation today to help support our ongoing initiatives to increase access to affordable care.

The infertility community needs to be on the minds of our elected officials this summer as the healthcare reform discussions continue. We can’t do it without you..take action, be generous… and stand up and be heard!

Here is a way you can do something in your area!!!

Federal Legislation

  • Contact your Representative and ask them to co-sponsor HR 697, the Family Building Act of 2009.
  • Contact your Senators and urge them to sponsor infertility coverage legislation in the Senate.

Info provided by RESOLVE on Insurance coverage…click the link! Some info about Insurance coverage from RESOLVE

There is also a form where you can submit YOUR story for the RESOLVE group to take to Washington with them!  Below I’ve posted what I wrote for them to take.  I feel like by doing this I can help make changes.  I hope you will all do the same!

“My husband and I have been trying to have a child for 2 years. After a year of trying with no success I was referred to an infertility clinic. Shortly after my first appointment we learned that my insurance does not cover infertility treatment, only diagnostic tests. After about 6 months I was diagnosed with PCOS. From that point on, it has been a struggle and everything I can do to keep going in our journey for a child. In January 2009 we finally conceived a child through IUI. It had taken us almost $5000 in drug costs (which were not covered) weekly blood tests and ultrasounds (also not covered) and the actual IUI procedure (not covered by insurance). We were so happy. It had been a long road and we were pretty much broke, but we were going to have our child. In March of 2009 I lost my child. My insurance did cover my emergency room costs, hospital stay and surgery (d&c). However, now we are trying again. We’ve put another $3000 into treatments and medications. This is our last hope. If we are not pregnant (we will find out on June 29th, though I am not hopeful that it worked) that is the end of our trying. We are out of money now. We’ve spent every penny of our savings on this cycle. My husband is starting school in the fall to become a pastor, and we will have no extra income. If this does not work, we may not get another chance for more than 3 years. We want a baby so badly. My baby will be wonderful, beautiful and an amazing child. I can almost see him, I just can not get to him. It is so frustrating that the only thing stopping my husband and I from achieving our dreams of being parents is money. Money should not be a factor in creating life. People are every day making babies without a second though, though for all of us who are infertile, we want nothing more than our babies. It consumes our every thought, our every dream, our every day. The fact that we are not allowed to be parents just because the cost of our treatments are so high is unconscionable. Please help us to reach our goals. Please help us to be able to meet our babies.”

June 24, 2009 at 10:40 am Leave a comment

To my friends and family…

Last week I put up a 2 posts announcing that Justin and I would be new parents in October.  Last Thursday early morning, we had to rush to the ER.  I was having a lot of pain and bleeding.  After many hours of waiting and tests, ultrasounds and blood work, we were told that I had lost the baby.  It seems that the baby had died about a week after my last ultrasound, which was at week 8.  I would have at the time we went into the hospital, been at week 11.  They were able to get me in to surgery relatively quickly that day, as I had not eaten since dinner the night before.  I had a d&c to remove what was left.  The procedure only took about 20 minutes.  I was out during that, and in recovery for 2 hours after that.  We were then able to go home.  We got to the emergency room at about 5:30 am and were home a bit after 2 pm.  It was a very long, very painful day.  We are still dealing with a lot of grief and I’m still recovering from the surgery and having some pain.  I have had a hard time seeing people or talking to anyone.  If you have called here the last couple of days, you have most likely spoken with Justin.  He has been amazing and I am so grateful to him for dealing with everything I’ve been unable to deal with.  He is going through the same pain, and I hate that I have been making him do everything.  I am eternally grateful to him and love him more than anything.

On top of all of this, we have another pain that we have been dealing with.  This is something we have not told many people about, because I have been unwilling to let anyone know.  It’s hard even now for me to be sharing this, but I think it’s time, and I’m sick of the pain and the secrets.

Justin and I started our journey to be parents early in 2007.  We spent a year trying to get pregnant with no luck.  I finally spoke with my gynecologist and she referred us to a fertility clinic.  We spent all of 2008 there.  It has been determined that I most likely have PCOS.  That basically means that my body does not produce hormones correctly for becoming pregnant and that with out help, I most likely cannot get pregnant on my own.  On top of all of this, my health insurance does not cover the cost of infertility treatments, only up to a point of diagnosis.  So, not only were we dealing with the fact that having a baby would be difficult in the first place, but on top of it, we could not even afford to try.  The cost of the treatments are extremely high.  The medicines that I need to take are over $1000 each time we try.  That’s not to mention all of the ultrasounds, blood work and actual procedures needed to make this happen.  During these 2 years, only 1 person knew we were even dealing with this.  When we finally got to the point where I had been diagnosed and a course of treatment had been decided we were unsure if we would be able to do it since as I said, we did not have the money.  At that point Justin suggested it was time to talk to our pastors, not only to help us deal with the pain associated with infertility, but to see if they could offer any guidance as to how to proceed.  I was still unwilling to talk to anyone, but I knew that we were at a point where we could not proceed alone.  I’m very very glad that we did finally talk with them.  They were able to offer some guidance, counsel and suggestions.  Through that meeting, we discovered that we could possibly be eligible for a grant to help us pay for the costs of treatment.  We were able to get that grant and we were given $5,000.  That would basically get us through one treatment and maybe another if we were very thrifty.  Luckily our nurse at the fertility clinic was aware of our situation and help to find us extra medicine from samples and that people had turned in that they didn’t need anymore, so much of the medicine I needed we got for free.  Things were finally starting to work in our favor!  The middle of January 2009, we had our first procedure.  We did an IUI, not an IVF as IVF are ridiculously expensive and even with another grant we would have not been able to afford it.  We got very lucky and the IUI worked the first time we tried!!  Usually it can take up to 2-3 tries before it finally works.  It seemed that everything was finally coming together, our dreams and hopes were being realized.

It was so hard to wait to tell our friends and family our good news.  I was so happy that after 2 years, I was finally going to be a mommy!  We still kept the infertility to ourselves for the most part, telling only a few people.  The reason I’ve kept this in so long is mostly due to embarrassment.  All my life I’ve wanted to have children.  All my life I’ve had a fear in the back of my mind, a “what if” nagging.  What if I can’t have children?  What if there is something wrong with me?  To find that that distant fear was a reality was a huge blow.  I’m still embarrassed.  I still feel inadequate.  As a woman, as a human being.  One of the major defining differences between genders is a woman’s ability to create life.  If I can’t do that, what does that say about me, about my female-ness?  Even putting this out there for the whole world to see was a very difficult decision for me.  I’m still uneasy about it, but I also feel it is the right thing to do.  I’m tired of keeping it all in, and I want people to know and to understand what we’re going through.  Possibly this will reach other people who are in the same situation and they will know they are not alone.  It’s not easy to be alone.  To see all of your friends and loved ones starting families.  It seemed that every time I opened the computer or talked to someone, another person was having a baby.  It’s hard when it seems so easy for some people, that they barely have to think about it, and here I am wanting nothing more in the world that a baby and no matter what I did I could not have one.  The relief, joy and love I felt when were were finally going to be parents was beyond anything I’ve ever felt.  To now have lost that so soon is beyond devastating, beyond anything I have ever felt in my entire life.  To loose someone you have never even met is hard to explain.  There is no closure.  There is no body to mourn.  There is no name to put to the feelings.  There is no personality to miss.  There is only the hope and the expected joy that is now lost and can never be found.  Only the dreams and plans that had been made that are now dust.

I have new what if’s now.  What if I can’t get pregnant again?  What if we can’t find the money to try again?  Everything seemed to click the first time, what if a miracle can only happen once in your life?

We will try again.  We will find a way.  We will make it through this, and hopefully in the not to distant future, we will have our hopes and dreams realized, and I will be able to hold my baby in my arms and say “I love you, and I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.”  I anticipate that day.  I long for that day.  I cry for that day.

I want to thank all of my friends and family who have been with us during this time, think of us, offering us sympathy and understanding.  Unfortunately, I know many people who have had to deal with the pain of miscarriage.  I thank them all for there words and guidance.

Goodbye, my sweet baby.  Rest now my angel.

March 23, 2009 at 7:15 pm 17 comments


Song lyric of the week…

"I bring you pain, the kind you can’t suffer quietly/Fire up your brain remind you inside you’re rioting/Society is slipping, everythings slipping away"
- Slipping from Doctor Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog

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